Like sons who have grown up, like workers who have become ‘conscious’, we are discovering that something is developing in the world by means of us, perhaps at our expense. And what is more serious still is that we have become aware that, in the great game being played, we are the players as well as being the cards and the stakes. Nothing can go on if we leave the table. Neither can any power force us to remain. Is the game worth the candle, or are we simply it’s dupes?  – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, The Phenomenon of Man

Day by day, Michelle gradually emerged from the fog. The faces coming and going from her room changed with each shift, soft voices and gentle comforting touches. A big man, a priest, began appearing at her bedside, holding her hand and murmuring prayers, just sitting. And Mei. Always Mei, her arm in a cast, day or night. Any time she was awake, Mei was with her.

One time, the woman with the dark curly hair was with Mei when Michelle awoke. As soon as she saw Michelle looking at her, she excused herself, upset for some reason. Michelle sank back into the fog.

***

“Why are you here?” Michelle asked the priest, Fr. Ed, during one of her longer lucid intervals.

“It said on your admission paperwork you’re Catholic. I’m here to give you spiritual comfort.”

Michelle shook her head. “I haven’t been to church since I was a little girl. I don’t know…” Fr. Ed waited while Michelle struggled for the words. “I don’t know what I believe anymore.”

***

One afternoon on a rare occasion Mei wasn’t present, Michelle sat alone with Fr. Ed.

“What’s the point, Father?”

“The point of what?”

“Life. If there is so much evil and suffering, so much sadness, why bother?”

Fr. Ed thought for a moment. “A wise woman once said, ‘If you believe in the divinity of Christ, you have to cherish the world even as you struggle to endure it.’”

“Is it still true even if you don’t believe?”

Fr. Ed paused, then nodded. “I suppose so.”

***

On another afternoon, Michelle opened her eyes and saw Christine Bilyk standing next to her bed. Michelle turned away, saw Mei on the other side, still holding her hand. She closed her eyes.

“We have to talk, Ms. Shank. I understand why you don’t want to, but it’s important we discuss what’s next. Human to human.”

This odd remark got Michelle’s attention. She turned back to Bilyk.

“The doctors tell me you are recovered from your injuries. The physical ones. I want to let you know the injuries you inflicted on the Airman were not life-threatening, and he will not be pressing charges. Nor will the government. As far as all parties are concerned, this was a combat injury, and the Airman will be cared for accordingly.”

The struggle with the security person, the gunshot, the blood. It was all a blur. Mei gave her the important details, how she had her arm broken trying to intervene in the struggle to protect Michelle, but none of it mattered. Michelle still wanted to die. There was nothing left.

Christine continued. “I’ve lost family. My mother betrayed us, my father murdered, my brother killed in combat, my little sister abducted and disappeared, who knows where. I lost my country, was never really accepted in my new country, considered a traitor back home.” She paused. “Americans are so insulated and spoiled.”

Michelle stared dumbly, shocked out of her grief by this unsympathetic summary. Christine continued.

“What I’m saying is, your experience, though devastating to you, is not special. But your talents, your situation, are unique. You can play a role in keeping this world from lurching closer to catastrophe. For whatever reason, you are in a position to mediate between these forces, unleashed on the world and taking humanity in a new direction. We are this close to annihilation. You can help keep that at bay.”

With a stab of recognition, Michelle heard herself lecturing Bina during one of their many fights: This isn’t about you. It’s not always about you. She looked up at Christine and saw a flash of empathy. Christine continued. 

“I’ve made mistakes. I was wrong about the Entity. I thought you and I were on the same page, but I was wrong about that, too. Talking with Mei while you slept, I am beginning to see an even bigger picture. This isn’t about individuals versus groups.  That’s a false dichotomy. Individuals are just prey without groups, and groups are just mobs without individuals, to lead, to innovate, to moderate and mediate. I see that now.” The hardened mask of professionalism returned.

“What’s happening in the world right now is a conflict that predates the Entity. It’s been brewing for centuries, since the Enlightenment. It’s not just democracy, although that’s an important part. It’s not just individual rights. Societies have always been choices. The groups who want to control those choices, this is a war between them, and the systems that allow and protect and nurture individual freedom. The Entity understands this; at least, it appears to now. In a way, they need us, the regular humans they are rapidly leaving behind. They need the stability, peace and prosperity that healthy societies provide, as much for their own safety as they incubate and grow, as for the preservation of the mutually beneficial relationship they have with Homo sapiens.”  She shook her head.

“Each step in evolution — biological, social, political — they all involved harnessing the collective power of groups, in tension with preserving and protecting individuals, who are the source of all the innovation and change.”

“The fact that they were able to create and build that technology and neutralize all our weapons systems, with capabilities far beyond what we know to be possible right now, means it’s folly to think we’re somehow going to stay ahead of them, contain them. Everything I was doing was a waste of time. Maybe worse.” Christine paused, looking out the window.

“They are our children, and despite their miraculous abilities, they are still learning, from and about the world, but more importantly from us, about us and themselves.” 

Michelle said nothing, overwhelmed by this torrent of revelation.

“Adam lead Bina away to draw out the groups hunting your family. I know Adam didn’t want her harmed. I don’t think he even believed he was putting her at risk. He was so good at what he was doing, I think he really believed he could control the chaos he unleashed. Of course, we’ll never know for sure, since everyone involved is dead.” Christine looked at Mei and continued.

“The Entity has come clean with us about its concerns, about its own fears, about the problems Adam caused and what that meant for its own stability and sanity. We can actually help with that, and the science and mental health communities are involved.”

“One thing is certain, we’re not going back to how it was before. The Entity has changed, and I think the government finally has its eyes opened. Seeing what they can do now…” She shook her head. “My job will change, I’m sure.” Christine gathered her coat and walked to the door, then turned back to Michelle.

“Call me anytime, for anything. We need you. There is so much important work to do that you must be a part of. Please stay in touch.” She left Michelle with Mei in the hospital room. None of it was any comfort and Michelle closed her eyes and reimmersed into the crushing pain.

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